The second academic year has finally come to an end, officially yesterday. Again I’m about to hop onto a plane to take a breather somewhere else. Haha. To be honest this year hasn’t really been smooth for me, I’m not even gonna try suger-coating it. Some ups and downs here and there that basically took me on an emotional roller coaster ride. But nonetheless I have learnt quite a bit from this year and I figured I should note them down before I forget them. Actually, no. I think everything can just be combined into one big lesson that I’ve learnt:
Sometimes, giving up isn’t really a bad thing. You know how people always tell you to try your best in everything and not give up until the end? That’s kinda bullshit. Ok, not really all bullshit but it really depends on what circumstance you’re in. But reflecting on the past semester, to me maybe insisting on sticking through with my plans is not the smartest way to go about things. I used to think that I could achieve everything I wanted to achieve, and nothing is too difficult if I put in my best. And this notion has been engraved within me, proven time and time again for the past.. 7 years? But recently I’ve realized that this isn’t always true. Every event that happens in your life involves several factors that aren’t within your control, and sometimes there are certain aspects of our personalities and capabilities that are simply not suitable for certain tasks. Instead of forcing into it maybe it’s wiser and more pragmatic to recognize what can do and what our limitations are, and let go of these baggages that will not make us come out stronger or more developed, but instead prevent us from achieving our fullest potential. Sounds a bit like fatalism but I’m sure the different opportunities and factors of the social environment in which we grew up would have shaped us to be people who are “made” to specialize in certain things and not others.
You know what. I think I just described something really cliche. I have a feeling everyone has already learnt this and I’m just behind everyone else in realizing this fact. OOPS. (It’s okay I’m only turning 21 this year)
But okay I’ll just continue ranting anyway.
So, even while knowing that even if you try your best you won’t be able to do very well in something (of course this depends on your own measurement of success), because of certain limitations or simply the lack of interest for it, why do we find it so hard to give up sometimes? (DISCLAIMER: This really isn’t about my course. I really like what I’m studying. I’m just speaking about some minor decisions I’ve wrongly made here and there, lol)
I might be wrong but maybe this might be attributed to our construction of the concept of time?
Here’s a quote that I really love:
“Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. an alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.” ― Mitch Albom, The Time Keeper
Ok not a big fan of the part where we are compared to animals because how do we know maybe they keep time in their own ways as well huh…… BUT nevertheless the point is that while the increased abilities and hopes of Man being able to achieve greater things has refined our desirable and socially-expected goal-oriented nature, this nature or way of living might have caused us to embark on our endeavors with the end already in mind, which is why we are so afraid of time running out. Idk, this is just my opinion.
Of course I’m not saying that everyone should just give up. No way. Life is about ups and downs, and life isn’t worth living if there aren’t obstacles for us to overcome. It’s just that I realized that sometimes I forget that the world is so much more complex that I can ever imagine, hence many things aren’t within my control and it will only make things worse if i take it too hard on myself right?
And I’ve went off-track once again. ANYWAY yes im just so grateful that this semester has come to an end. I’m gonna have busy summer ahead, and year 3 will be filled with even more unpredictable events, in a new country. But as much as I’m anxious I’m also very excited for what lies ahead. 🙂